Oh my God. I just read this HORRIBLE email. About this poor lady whose left breast was infested with parasitic lavae allegedly from the clothing she wore without first washing. Oh my God. The picture... Was disgusting. I shall not gross people out by spreading the picture. I shall just attempt to spread the msg. Oh my God. It shocked me into typing this entry. But i shall end here. My arms feel weak.
Whoopsie. It's approaching 2 only. Paiseh to all whom i've tagged. My math is so good i read the time as past 2am.
Today (yesterday) was probably the worst day of my JC life. I slept late the night before. I woke up to a headache and denied myself from going to YFC meeting on time so that i cann mug a little more KI. Got upset (but luckily made up) with someone over assembly (sorry dear.. Let my own tension flare up over something qte trivial)
Headache got worse with the progress of KI paper. Did not manage to finish the paper. Qte disappointed at muyself for not being giving myself the chance cos i jot down qte a great deal of ideas but only managed to actually write a miserable 2 premises down:(
Then found out my hp was missing from my bag. Felt qte touched when my friends were so concerned and helped to look for it and repeatedly called my phone. Thanks Cheryl, Meera and Yingjie. Please, if anyone finds a WHITE SAMSUNG SLIDEPHONE, it is probably mine (haven seen that many ppl with white phones) I reali feel so lost and vulnerable without it.. :x
Then had to entertain questionings from a certain Ms Lim about a certain someone in my short span of 5 min in the library before going for math consultation. Got more scoldings than usual. My intelligence has been reduced to that of a ... i don't know.. Non-thinking animal. Well done. A good eardrum massage for the whole of 5 HOURS.
I am suddenly reminded of what someone said; He exposes us to those who sin so that we may learn not to be like them.
And i HAD to send my IS to my teacher by tonight. So. Yup. Despite my headache i am still at my com. Tho now that i am past the craving for sleep, i am somewhat on an insomniac's high. But tmr i'll suffer. Actually i'm beginnig to suffer now. Ah well. Befiting end to a nasty day.
But i will hold on.. until the cup is empty.
Love,
The idiot >.<
P.s. Sorry sha.. Will write my 20 weird stuff sometime soon.. Not in mood today :x >.<
P.p.s. I have a certain feeling a certain Mr Png will be wanting to kill me tmr for sleeping so late >.<
OKie.. Paiseh. I've received complains over the er stagant status of my blog.
Most important one first. My dajie is back! ^_^ Whee~ Im so glad for this opportunity to see dajie and sanjie again after so long. Do you know how much i missed you guys?? This time, i going to hold u guys tight and never let go again.. Ok. Except for dajie to go back Canada. XD
I'm so going to wear our sisters ring. Dajie, erjie, sanjie, must wear them okie? I know i'll wear them everyday. I just pray the rings will not rust. At least until the next time dajie comes Singapore again^_^
Met them last night at imm. Ate ichiban! Nice! Haha.. i demolish a fair bit of sushi xPpP Hehe.. My jie jie men commented that it's good having a xiao mei that can eat alot of sushi cos they were super bloated like 3/4 through the dinner and i helped clear! So proud of myself XDDD The both of them came to NJ today. Too bad dajie missed the stop and erjie had lessons after lunch and was unable to welcome her. Then i had to leave dajie and sanjie for the stupid physics test before erjie ended her lesson. And i had to leave soon after physics. But i guess i mist be thankful for the physics lecture actually. If not i would not have bee able to have until 3.40 with them :x But it still is upsetting >.<
Anw. dajie brought victoria secrets perfume for everyone of us. So nice! ^_^ Haha.. Of cos i took the purple one. Sprayed a little on my bag so it'll be with me even if i cant wear the ring^_^ Thankie dajie!~<3 But you should know i wil love anything you, erjie or sanjie give me. Actually just being your xiao mei and knowing that you all love me is a blessing i feel i've done nothing to deserve :')
This applies to all of you out there who've loved me in anyway. My deepest fear is i have not appreciated or repaid this love enough. Thank you for loving me or if you have ever loved me :)
Of cos we did not just talk abt happy things. Life is full of ups and downs, filled with lovely people and yet packed with people who are less than so. I sincerely do not wish to ever see the brainless nit which has so harmed my sanjie. (note the use of "which" to mean an inanimate object or an animal) He who has value incomparable to that of my sanjie, and who has almost nothing to commend himself except sheer perserverence in trying to win her heart in the very beginning, what lack of morals, dignity and intelligence led him to betray my sanjie's priceless trust? My sanjie deserves so much more than you can ever give. Ever so humble and loving, my sanjie humbled herself even more to give you a chance and love you. How dare you still treat her thus shabbily?! And now, despite her patiently entertaining your worthless calls out of the pure kindness of her heart, you still harass her and attempt to mar her newfound happiness - happiness that you have been unable to provide, even barely? Shame on you! If my testimony against you should stop, it is only out of love for my sanjie that her peace will not be wavered by thoughts that best lie in the dumps under the feet of cockroaches. Though even that is too holy for the object of those repulsive thoughts. My only hope is he may one day finally taste even half the bliss my big-hearted sanjie enjoys. Then, he should consider himself a lucky man.
Ok. I have not done the repugnance of the situation (and the pepertrator) justice, but it is enough. My sanjie has moved on and has hardly any anger towards him. Maybe the only thing she is feeling for him is pity. Apparently he is quite dissatisfied. But he has to face the consequence of his choice and start learning to be a man. I cannot help but praise my lovely sanjie.
My erjie also faces problems of her own, but she is very strong. I can only hope i can be there when she needs me:) It is battle she has to fight alone; it is a tough decision that resolves the conflict of the mind and heart. But i can lend her a listening ear, give her comforting hugs and, above all, strengthen her to stand firm on what she believes is right. Jiayou erjie!:D You have my support and love regardless of what your choices are ^_^
I thank God again for giving me 4 beautiful sisters (Dajie, erjie, sanjie and my twin ^_^). Each one ever so pretty, and adorned with the best jewellery God can give - beautiful, loving, gracious hearts that glow even in times of trial.^_^ Praise the lord.
Oops. I suddenly realise the irony of the title. Haha.. Better be off or i may be grounded due to the inability to complete my IS >.<
There is rejoicing in the presence of the angels..
Hmm. This was ultimately the best hols i've had.
Although was mugging everyday, but it was with at least 1 of my good friends almost everytime:) I also found many treasures at Jurong Regional Library and while exploring other places (which we would never think would contain such wonders). We shared quite a few good reads about stuff like how to study the bible and marvelled at some pictures that were available ^_^
Hmm. Yes. And i was reborn again. With the two most important influence in my spiritual life. It's really gratifying to know that i am (almost) as good for them as they are for me ^_^ I got quite a few signs answered. And them some. Haha.. I have also found my strength and the love to give others in prayers, so if there is anything any of you would like me to pray for, PLEASE do not hesistate to ask me. I promise not to judge nor reveal to anyone else should i be told so :)
Took a fancy to this song for its simple and yet optimistic outlook. (As well as due to its not being so "commercial" as all the other love songs that one hears everywhere). Jessica Simpsons's With You:
The real me is a Southern girl
With her Levi's on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world
Like I was Supergirl
The real me used to laugh all night
Lying in the grass, just talking 'bout love
But lately I've been jaded
Life got so complicated
I start thinking about it
Almost forgot what it was like
To know when it feels right
But with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you
With you
With you
With you
Now that I'm with you
You speak and it's like a song
And just like that, all my walls come down
It's like a private joke
Just meant for us to know
I relate to you naturally
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me
'Cause I start thinking about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know when love feels right
'Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you
With you
With you
With you
Come and take me
Love you, save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you
Love,
~Me~
Musing of the day: Yep. We should really look beneath the surface. Plain-looking people have just as much or even more to offer than their more physically-blessed counterparts.
I should be very glad if my guy loves me for what i am inside. (Not that i have anything much outside XD)
I redid the MBTI test and ... I got the same answer! Haha.. So qte accurate cos i really don't rmb what ans i put the previous time XD
Anw, im apparently a champion idealist and the description is in the previous entry. But this is a general description for Idealists ^_^ Anyone like me?:D ^o^
IDEALIST NFs, being ABSTRACT in communicating and COOPERATIVE in implementing goals, can become highly skilled in DIPLOMATIC INTEGRATION. Thus their most practiced and developed intelligent operations are usually teaching and counseling (NFJ mentoring), or conferring and tutoring (NFP advocating). And they would if they could be sages in one of these forms of social development. The Idealist temperament have an instinct for interpersonal integration, learn ethics with ever increasing zeal, sometimes become diplomatic leaders, and often speak interpretively and metaphorically of the abstract world of their imagination.
They are proud of themselves in the degree they are empathic in action, respect themselves in the degree they are benevolent, and feel confident of themselves in the degree they are authentic. Idealist types search for their unique identity, hunger for deep and meaningful relationships, wish for a little romance each day, trust their intuitive feelings implicitly, aspire for profundity. This is the "Identity Seeking Personality" -- credulous about the future, mystical about the past, and their preferred time and place are the future and the pathway. Educationally they go for the humanities, avocationally for ethics, and vocationally for personnel work.
Social relationships: In their family interactions they strive for mutuality, provide spiritual intimacy for the mates, opportunity for fantasy for their children, and for themselves continuous self-renewal. Idealists do not abound, being as few as 8% and nor more than 10% of the population.
Temperaments:
Idealists can and do get this upset about harming an insect, but they care even more deeply about being kind to their fellow men and helping them along life's journey. Idealists might even be thought of as the personal growth temperament, for they are passionate not only about becoming better human beings themselves, but also about nurturing personal development in their family members, in their friends, colleagues, students, parishioners, patients, clients -- as well as in their communities, even in the world at large. [they are] imaginative, introspective, emotionally vulnerable, and full of wonder about life and love
ELECT'S CAMP FINALLY OVER! Haha.. Kinda pity tt i only really made friends with the other councilors just when we're about to step down. I let my disillusion due to last yr's elect's camp groupmates cloud my judgement of the rest.
I didn't give them a chance.
But i am glad my r/s with those ppl (yes, including those in my group) are improving :D Make peace with and love thy enemies.
Anw, took the MBTI test. Apparently im eNPf-The champion idealist (?O.o) The analysis is as follows: (i swear i din alter ath)
The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and expressive when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.
Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.
Hmm. The first part seems qte true now tt its stated explicitly. The second part.. I am amazed. Amazed at how it can capture tt subtle schizophreniac personality of mine. I have been trying to find such all-encompassing yet concise description that somehow ppl fail to realise. And yet words always fails to bring across my uncertainty at the complexity of my emotions and the frustration tt ppl find it so different and hard to comprehend.
I really cannot agree more. At any one time, regardless of the intensity of my feelings, i am acutely aware of the unresponsive, unfeeling portion of my soul. So well hidden and small yet at such odds with my conscious being.
Er. I agree tt i sometimes don't like myself for not expressing my true inclinations. but. er. I dunno tt its supposedly "attractive" Who would find such odd things "attractive"? What's more, recently i found out tt vulnerability is also "attractive". Bleah. How weird is tt? mebe attractive to chauvinistic masochists:x Shall be a motivation for my to guard myself and be strong:)
U ppl should try the test too:) (Search MBTI free) Results may take ur breath away ;)
Someone who cannot lie, who detests looking only on the outside, and with absolutely no ulterior motive other than to allow me to continue in my wanderings, just admitted that he thinks
Ergh............
There is rejoicing in the presence of the angels..